Thursday, March 5, 2009

Self-Deprecating Story Time for Slow Week

So after the bonanza of content I was able to scrounge up last week, this week has been quite slow. So for you loyal readers and my mom, I will tell you a brief story about me being an idiot.

Yesterday, I met with a new boss for a new project involving new logic computations for a new system for whatever. They required my services to provide the system with feedback on whether its logic was good or bad in a given circumstance. Of course, my initial impulse was to confuse the system with conflicting responses until it exploded, but that's another story.
After an initial meeting with the supervisor, there was a period of semi-useful training followed by a couple hours of mind-numbing tedium. As I was not necessarily working on all aspects of this project, I excused myself early from the meeting.

At my office, Tuesday and Thursday are 'free fruit days' in the cafeteria. Yesterday happened to be free banana day. When I first started at this gig, my team would take this free fruit, draw funny faces on it, and put it on the desks of people who didn't show up to work. I realize that doesn't sound particularly funny as I describe it, but in the context of breaking up monotony, hopefully it doesn't seem that strange.

So we now have two converging parts of the story: free banana Thursday and Ryan leaving training early. I strolled through the cafeteria and grabbed one for fun. Back at my cubbycle, I began to devise a work of art on yellow canvas. I began slowly, tenderly, and then with rising passion and a sense of clarity I quickened my penstrokes. I could hear the booming crescendo of whatever was playing on my iPod and then...

...My boss tapped me on the shoulder. Seems she had some last instructions for me.

"Uh, Hi... Ryan?"

I am trying to come up with something more bizarre that I have been interrupted doing, but I've got nothing. I don't even remember what she said for the most part, just the last few lines of the conversation:

Boss: "...so you won't start getting the data until Monday."
Ryan: "Oh... well that's okay I've got plenty of work and...and bananas to keep me busy!" (forced, nervous laugh)
Boss: (smiling uncomfortably) "Good."

As she walked away all I could think was ,'GREAT. I am now the weirdo who sits by the interns and draws on bananas.' After a few frantic instant messages and some sweating, I calmed myself enough to complete my masterpiece: The Shark Banana.

THIS Shark Banana

Parties interested in commissioning a shark banana of their own may contact me here at Newrosis or in person at my studio in the Basque region of Bizkaia during the summer months.

P.S. The client who commissioned this piece was extremely happy with my work.